Monday, March 07, 2005

What the #$@% is going on?

It was 74 degrees in Iowa City yesterday. 74 degrees on March 6. Easily a record-high temperature. So in the midwest (or east, etc.), you know what that meant: lots of people wearing shorts, even though it wasn't really quite that warm. It just felt like summer after weeks of 30-degree weather. Not only did I have to wear my sunglasses because it was delightfully sunny yesterday, but there were many, many ghostly-white legs exposing themselves. (Except for all the people who have their pre-Spring Break "base tans.") I'm sure there were plenty of gnarly, hairy toes wearing flip-flops and sandals before their time, too. Get out those nail clippers and emery boards, people.

This has to be a sign of something crazy going on. It's March. We should still be ankle-deep in snow - especially in Iowa, where the winters are traditionally harsh. I don't hate the winters as much as some people. To me, they're a sign of the natural order of things. If it's still cold and snowing when it's supposed to be, then things are proceeding as they should. But yesterday threw that all out of whack. I couldn't enjoy the weather. Not just because I knew I should stay inside and get some work done. But because there has to be payback for this at some point. There can't just be a 74-degree day in March, followed by things going back to normal. Ripples are coming. I can feel it.

All the local meterologists were wearing $#!@-eating grins on the news Saturday night, knowing that the people would love them for at least one day. (Also behind those grins, I'm sure, was a healthy amount of "Christ, I'd better get this right" fear.) Those same weekend weatherpeople, however, were sheepish and glum last night as they had to break the news that temperatures would be sliding back down to the 30s today. Most tried to laugh it off. "Can you believe this stuff? Hey, be happy - you got 74 degrees today." Those smiles were hiding something, though. What do they know that they're not telling us? What information are those super-duper Doppler radar, Skycast-3000-bots really giving them? And please just tell us it'll be a better movie than The Day After Tomorrow.