The Alaska Turkey Massacre Director's Cut

If you didn't catch this on Countdown with Keith Olbermann Wednesday night, Slate put together a hilarious mash-up of the immediately infamous Sarah Palin turkey massacre video:



For once, I agree with Gov. Mooseburger. That sure was fun.

Parody Can't Always Match Reality

Just when I thought I wouldn't have to hear Gov. Mooseburger's voice for at least the rest of the year, she's on my television again. But this time, it's not an attempt to salvage her image. No, she's out there, once again meeting with the people of Alaska... as they slaughter animals while mugging for TV cameras.

As if I needed to tell you, keep your eyes on the right part of the screen:



And she just... keeps... talking. What's worse: the slaughtering of the turkey or Gov. Mooseburger's slaughtering of the English language as she prattles on and on?

Here's a reminder that no matter how hard Saturday Night Live tried to lampoon Sarah Palin (and they did a great job of it), even Tina Fey and Seth Meyers can't always create something funnier than the actual product.

"Gov. Palin, they're slaughtering a turkey over your left shoulder as you're talking, stuffing its head into a metal cone of death that drains into a tub of blood as you talk about next year's budget. Are you sure you don't want to film the interview somewhere else?"

"Nah, that's Bill the Turkey Killer. We call him Bill the Grinder. He's real America. We're desiring for that bird to be on our table. Also too, I'm killin' one after we're done talkin'. We gotta feed Bristol. She's eating for two, you betcha."

Tina Fey Sends Little Starbursts

I think we're actually getting to the point where anything SNL can do to make fun of Gov. Mooseburger isn't quite as funny as the real thing. But thankfully, they'll keep trying because Tina Fey is totally locked in now. What a maverick.

Once again, for those who didn't see last night's opening sketch, here you are:



Did that skit make you sit up a little straighter on your couch? You betcha.

Whomever had the idea to cast Queen Latifah as Gwen Ifill should at least get a pat on the back. If only Ifill really made the same bewildered expressions that the Queen kept flashing at Fey. And a pretty nice job by Jason Sudeikis as Joe Biden, though the writing made his impression much better than the actual impersonating.

Is SNL really off next week? Oh, wait - they'll be doing Thursday shows up until the election. Maverick-y!

Mooseburger Meets Marge

Gunderson, that is. Not Simpson. And how many of you thought of Brainerd, Minnesota's Police Chief the first time you heard Gov. Mooseburger speak?



If aliens came to my front door and asked me what the big deal was about YouTube, this might be the first example I'd give them.

(via Andrew Sullivan)

The Horror! The Horror!

My immediate reaction after last night's vice-presidential debate - much to the surprise of those I spoke with, post-mortem - was that Gov. Mooseburger (Hey, can I call you Mooseburger?) held up under the spotlight. Of course, I was half-expecting her to spark, sputter, and shut down with smoke coming out of her ears in a meltdown of incompetence at some point.

What we all should've expected was what we got: a talking points sputtering robot (Energy! Maverick!) who was going to say what she wanted, and convey the image she wanted to portray, regardless of what the debate called for. I don't know whether it showed candor or naivete for Gov. Mooseburger to just outright admit that she wasn't going to answer Gwen Ifill's questions, in favor of rambling out the points she had written down on her notepad. You betcha.

(By the way, Governor, the mainstream media attempts to tell viewers "what they've just heard" because after listening to you answer a question from a reporter or debate moderator, we have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.)

And I don't trust anyone that winks to try and buddy up to you. It's disingenuous and skeevy.

But while Gov. Mooseburger was constantly diverting the debate so she could stay on the McCain campaign message, she said one thing that should truly terrify everyone, something I hope is reverberating through all of our heads when we're in that voting booth on November 4:

I'm thankful the Constitution would allow a bit more authority given to the vice president if that vice president so chose to exert it in working with the Senate and making sure that we are supportive of the president's policies and making sure too that our president understands what our strengths are.

"A bit more authority given to the vice president" if he or she "chose to exert it in working with the Senate"? First of all, we just had eight years of a vice president exerting far more power than one has ever held, especially in terms of foreign policy, and where the hell has that gotten us?

And Mooseburger wants more? She wants to control the Senate? It's been a long time since I sat in a civics class, but I know that the vice president's role is to cast a tying vote, if necessary. The VP isn't supposed to exert influence or take sides.

Caribou Barbie wants to go to the floor and tell the Senate what to do? Assuming she knew what the hell she was talking about, that is horrifying.

So is the idea of the hockey mom being in the situation room if the President isn't in Washington. And let's not even contemplate the idea of "Joe Six Pack" fulfilling her only Constitutional duty, that of becoming President if should the actual President become unable to serve. Little children should run to their parents' bed when hearing that. Hell, parents should run to their children's rooms and hide under the covers.

Say it ain't so, Joe. This can't even be allowed to have a chance of happening.

Gov. Mooseburger, Legal Scholar

There had been rumblings, courtesy of Politico.com, of a clip from the Katie Couric-Sarah Palin interview that hadn't aired because of its embarrassing nature.

Of concern to McCain's campaign, however, is a remaining and still-undisclosed clip from Palin's interview with Couric last week that has the political world buzzing.

The Palin aide, after first noting how "infuriating" it was for CBS to purportedly leak word about the gaffe, revealed that it came in response to a question about Supreme Court decisions.

After noting Roe vs. Wade, Palin was apparently unable to discuss any major court cases.

There was no verbal fumbling with this particular question as there was with some others, the aide said, but rather silence.

Last night, CBS News broadcast the clip. And if there was "silence," it had been edited out. However, the substance (or lack thereof) of the answer was no less absurd.



Wow, I'm pretty sure I've had job interviews like that. (I can't see myself anywhere in five years.) And you know what? I didn't get the job.

In fairness, if you were to ask anyone on the street about a Supreme Court case other than Roe vs. Wade, I don't know what kinds of answers you'd get. (Living in Ann Arbor, I could come up with at least one off the top of my head.) But those people aren't being interviewed by Katie Couric. And they're not campaigning for vice presidency of the United States of America.

Maybe if Gov. Mooseburger read a newspaper or magazine, she'd have picked something up about one or two historic cases.



Great googaly moogaly. She couldn't just say "USA Today" or "People"? C'mon, man. (Could she have wanted to say the New York Times, but her campaign programming prevented her from doing so?) Couric couldn't have teed up a softer question.

Maybe Gwen Ifill can give her a second chance at that one tonight.

The Mooseburger Mockings Continue

I can only imagine this showed up online almost as soon as it was broadcast last night on Saturday Night Live. But just in case you've only heard about Tina Fey returning yet again to portray Gov. Mooseburger and haven't seen it, we post it for you as a public service.



For all the credit Fey's received for getting Mooseburger's accent and mannerisms right, the writing absolutely nailed the "blizzard of words" (as Charlie Gibson called it) approach that the GOP vice-presidential candidate employs to obscure how little she knows and how deeply she's in over her head.

If only Amy Poehler was able to cross her legs and show them off as Katie Couric so often does. She got that derisive blinking down pat, though.

The McCain campaign may have no other choice but to hire Fey to fill in at Thursday's vice-presidential debate. And really, would we know the difference?

The Mooseburger Musings

This is just a fucking farce.



Vladimir Putin flying over Alaskan airspace builds up national security expertise?

And was "— cari — I don’t know" an attempt to say the word "caricature"? Yikes. (Yes, I would say you are being "mocked," Governor.)

No wonder McCain's been trying to postpone tomorrow's debate with Barack Obama until next week, when the vice presidential debate is scheduled. That was like watching a train wreck.

Here's what I want to know: Who the hell are the 40% in this poll who think this talking points sputtering robot is actually qualified to be president?

The Role Tina Fey Had to Play

Almost immediately after the world was introduced to Sarah Palin, people began to compare her to Tina Fey. (That is, after they finished asking "Who the hell is Sarah Palin?" and zooming over to Google.) All in the glasses, don't you know. And when the real thing answers her calling to do the impression America's been yearning for, it's a thing of beauty. Or hilarity.

So if you missed it last night (presumably having better things to do on a Saturday night or being pooped out from a long day), here's the opening from last night's Saturday Night Live. (Apologies for the ads, but at least this Hulu clip won't be taken down):



"In conclusion, I invite the media to grow a pair. And if you can't, I will lend you mine." HA!

Kudos, by the way, to the SNL staff for snagging a pair of those Palin-esque rimless frames, which are apparently quite the hot item.

If only the rest of last night's SNL measured up to the opening sketch. (You tried, Michael Phelps. You tried.) But when's the last time that happened?

Campbell Brown, Attack Dog

I used to have a major TV crush on Campbell Brown. Years ago, I would actually wake up early on weekend mornings to watch her co-host Weekend Today with Lester Holt.

Eventually, I got over that - probably when she married a Republican strategist. But this interview with Tucker Bounds, a spokesman for the John McCain campaign, reminded me of at least one reason I enjoyed watching her on TV. She can be pretty damn good at her job.

How does Bounds defend the selection of Sarah Palin as McCain's running mate? Well...



"I don't think there should be any problem defending her experience." And yet, there he goes having problems defending it.

Apparently, she took it a bit far for the McCain campaign's liking, however. McCain canceled an interview with Larry King to punish CNN for Brown's "unfair" line of questioning.

Watching that reminded me of trying to defend my first semester college grades as a freshman to my parents. There was no defense. Especially since Mama Cass could invoke tears and guilt, which Brown doesn't have to resort to in that interview. She didn't need to.

(via Andrew Sullivan)