They'll be registered at Williams-Sonoma any day now

Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle gave voice to something I'd been thinking about for the past few weeks. (That's a fancy way of saying "Dude beat me to it." And really, he should - he gets paid to write about sports.) How weird is it that ESPN has assigned a reporter to cover just one guy? Granted, that one guy - Barry Bonds - could be the story in Major League Baseball this season, as he approaches Hank Aaron's all-time career home run record and is practically wearing a "Got Steroids?" t-shirt of suspicion, but does he really need a personal stenographer hanging on his every word, then relaying it back to ESPN?

But there's Pedro Gomez, following Bonds every day, reporting such "news" as "Barry Bonds says his hat size hasn't changed" and "Barry Bonds says his testicles haven't shrunken." (Hopefully, you took ol' Barry's word on that one, Pedro.) Next week, we'll probably find out what Bonds likes for breakfast and whether Bonds likes to sleep on the right or left side of the bed. (Another thing, Pedro - those weren't pillows your hands were staying warm between.) Tune into Sportscenter to see Bonds and Gomez pick out China patterns together.

At least ESPN picked the right player in the right city - San Francisco -to give Bonds this kind of coverage. Those two are so cute together. Maybe they'll get a show next season on Bravo.