One Thing I Like About Getting Older...

When you're a kid, you never have time for the birthday cards that come with the presents.

Couldn't be less interested. Can't toss 'em aside fast enough. You read them because your parents reminded you to (or because you hope there's money in there).

But now that I'm older, I think I like the cards more.

(Don't get me wrong; a thoughtful present always hits the sweet spot. Or a really good meal.)

You know who you are. Thanks and love to each of you.

When You Can't Figure Out What Mom's Talking About

I'm sure plenty of other people thought the same thing when they saw this on SNL last night, but this fits my mother so well. (And thus, it makes a perfect Mother's Day post.)



The only thing the Mom Translator is missing to make it perfect for Cecilia Casselberry would be a mental telepathy reader for those instances where Mom thinks I can figure out who she's talking about just by saying, "You know that woman... she's on the show you watched that one time... married to that actor."

(It's even worse when it comes to politicians: "He's either a Congressman or Senator... I think he's a Democrat, but he may be a Republican.")

Happy Mother's Day to you, Mom. I thank you for everything, and I love you.

Happy Best Sports Day of the Year!

Opening Day in baseball? College basketball's National Championship game tonight? The first Monday in April is the best sports day of the year. If only we were all allowed the day off today.

Normally, I would say the only thing to make this better locally would be for the Tigers to begin the season at home today, instead of tonight in Toronto. But with today's snow, baseball in Detroit would be a soggy bummer and probably postponed.

Besides, Michigan State playing at Ford Field (right next to Comerica Park) for the national championship is a more than suitable replacement. Growing up in Ann Arbor (and later studying at Iowa), I can't act like I'm a huge Spartans fan (though I did attend MSU for one year). But MSU certainly represents our state tonight. They're also a decided underdog, which is always more fun to root for. (And if they can beat a school from the south, it'd be that much sweeter. That's kind of my own personal issue, though.)

Between the Tigers playing at 7 p.m. and MSU tipping off after 9 p.m., it's going to be a fun night. Of course, it'll be even better if both teams end the evening victorious. (There's a bit more at stake for MSU tonight, however.) Oh, this will be glorious.

Today's Photo - 03/17/09

After seeing all the students walk around campus with green t-shirts and beads, I was getting thirsty. And wouldn't you know, my fridge was fresh out of Diet Coke?

Happy St. Patrick's Day. I wonder if I can interest any of my neighbors in some beer pong?

Happy St. Patrick's Day from Jim Leyland

Detroit Tigers manager Jim Leyland waves to us, just in time for Green Beer o' Clock. (Of course, that may have been this morning for most some of you.)

I really should've picked up one of those green Tigers hats. Even if I'd wear it only once a year.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. Be good out there.

Happy President's Day

In honor of President's Day, we salute one of our favorite presidents, Josiah Bartlet. Here's an excellent example of what made him such a great leader, fictional or otherwise:



Man, I loved The West Wing.

To those fortunate enough to get the day off (and I really don't think there are many), Happy President's Day.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Don't panic if you encounter people running around in elaborate dragon or lion costumes at your Chinese restaurant of choice today. It's Chinese New Year! And 2009 is the Year of the Ox (or Ji Chou).

That has me particularly excited for this year's celebration because the Ox is my sign on the Chinese Zodiac. Big things, baby!

Well, perhaps not without some struggle, as the Year of the Ox "symbolizes strength gathered through unity, harmony, obedience, courage, and hard slog." We Oxen should expect a "dutiful, family-oriented, and dependable year."

Or maybe I'll just get a tattoo. (Although I might be kind of old for that, at this point.)

Here's a description of the Ox which (unfortunately) fits me pretty well. I might opt for this one, however, as it sounds a bit more noble.

And here are the traditional dishes one might eat on Chinese New Year. Fish and dumplings, I think we can do. The other stuff? Well, we'll see.

Congratulations and be prosperous! Oh, and don't buy shoes or books, or talk about death today. Bad luck!

Happy Festivus!

Happy Festivus to one and all!

Since I'll likely be deprived of gathering my family around and telling them all the ways they have disappointed me over the past year, I'll have to settle for engaging in Feats of Strength. Surely, I can find a suitable opponent while doing some last-minute Christmas shopping this morning. It will be a Festivus miracle!

Happy Thanksgiving, and Thank You

I was tempted to pick one of these up at Whole Paycheck Foods during some last-minute shopping/jostling yesterday, but I already had a turkey sitting at home. Plus, Tofurkey is a little pricey to try for a laugh.


But maybe they'll be discounted tomorrow, and I'll take the plunge into vegetarian feasting. It'll have to wait, of course, since we'll have Thanksgiving leftovers. And I love my leftovers.

I suspect, however, that even Timmy the Turkey here is wondering why you'd bother with a fake turkey. Not when you can still make all those tasty side dishes.


He might not be big on stuffing, though. Just like this guy. Oh, but I believe he's really staring at me because I haven't said what I'm thankful for this year.

Friends and family. I know - everyone says that. But as we've become more estranged from my father's side of the family, I've come to appreciate what I really have. It's the same with friends; I've drifted away from some, while becoming closer to others.

It's sort of like boiling something down, until you're left with the good stuff. Like evaporated milk, maybe. (Is it obvious I'm about to make a pumpkin pie?)

I know I can count on those that are still around. These are the people that I love, that allow me to be and accept me for who I really am, and I'm extremely grateful to have that. And hopefully, they feel the same way about me.

And I should probably leave it at that. Ticking off frivolous answers like podcasts, banh mi sandwiches, the Sunday New York Times (and the Wednesday food section), blogs, Tina Fey, my cast-iron skillet, stadium seating in movie theaters, Aaron Sorkin dialogue, that first cup of coffee on a crisp winter morning, wi-fi, a President-Elect I truly admire, eggs sunny-side up, RSS readers, Stewart and Colbert, 80s music (all of it), instant messaging, and the great game that is baseball isn't quite as meaningful.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

I'll Take Indy Over Candy

Save the flowers and candy (which I wasn't going to receive anyway, since I'm, like, a guy). I'll take this for a Valentine's Day gift. (Along with pitchers and catchers reporting to Spring Training, of course.)



The one thing that truly makes me nervous about the new Indiana Jones flick is where the "crystal skull" of its title comes from. (And there's at least one clue in the trailer.) The recent feature in Vanity Fair implies a story direction that could be a bit risky. Fingers are crossed that Spielberg, Lucas, and company pull it off. It looks like Harrison Ford is doing his part in front of the camera.

(via Yahoo!)

Happy Chinese New Year!

If you happen to encounter some people running around in an elaborate dragon or lion costume at your Chinese food establishment of choice today, don't panic. It's Chinese New Year! And 2008 is the Year of the Rat (or Wu Zi).


I bet Remy's off to get (or, better yet, cook) some dumplings, sticky rice cake, or other such traditional holiday dishes.

Congratulations and be prosperous! Oh, and don't buy shoes or books, or talk about death today. Bad luck.

Today Should Be a Holiday!

With it being Opening Day in baseball, the new gig is taking up most of my attention today. If you're interested, please check out my 2007 Detroit Tigers and AL Central previews over at Bless You Boys.

Otherwise, I have a couple of four-sentence movie reviews I'm eager to share, and Matt and I also recorded a podcast last night that should be posted within the next day or so. Until then, however, today is the best sports day of the year, I hope you'll indulge me repeating much of what I wrote around the same time last April (with a few appropriate edits).

Today might be my favorite day on the calendar. Christmas brings some nice presents, and so does my birthday. Halloween allows you to dress up. Memorial Day often means the first cookout of the spring.

But the first Monday in April, with Major League Baseball's Opening Day games being played in the afternoon and evening, followed by college basketball's National Championship game at night, is a sports holiday. We should all have the day off - especially if your team is playing at home today, as the Tigers are in Detroit.

Some of you might think the opening Sunday of the NFL season is more exciting. And I wouldn't argue much with that. I'm much more likely to spend the entire day in front of the TV (especially because it's a Sunday) on that day than I will be today.

I'm not saying it's my favorite time of year. That would be September, with college and pro football getting started, and the late-season pennant races in baseball. Every weekend (and most weeknights) seems to have something at stake in the fall.

But there's something about today - with the end of one season and the beginning of another - that feels more special to me. And this will be the first time in a long time that I'll really be able to enjoy it. In the last few years, I either couldn't (or didn't) get the day off from work, or I had a paper due and ended up pulling an all-nighter because I spent all day watching TV. Of course, I could never fully enjoy watching baseball and basketball with the dark cloud of a term paper and a night of no sleep looming over my head.

Not this year. The calendar is cleared. I have a big sandwich ready. The day began with picking up the Detroit Free Press baseball preview this morning, and they're on my coffee table, along with Sports Illustrated's preview, ready for my perusal. It's time to rock. Bring on the Blue Jays and Tigers!

Gone south for Christmas

Fried Rice Thoughts will be on vacation for the rest of the week, and will return after Christmas. (Likely on 12/27.)

I'm currently in South Carolina, visiting Dr. Lil' Sis, thus ensuring that Mama Cass and I will spend Christmas with the family we like. I had a bunch of movie reviews that I wanted to post, and might still do that, but I don't know how much computer time I'll have down here in the low-country of Charleston.

Plus, Dr. Lil' Sis is still on dial-up when it comes to her internet access, and I'm not sure how I'll deal with that. (And just between us, the good doctor makes broadband money, so I don't know why she hasn't made the switch. Bah.)

As always, thank you for stopping by, and Happy Holidays to each of you. Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Chrismukkah, and Festive Festivus for the rest of us. May your egg nog have an extra splash of rum.

Happy Halloween!

So let's celebrate. One year! Today is a celebration! I'll ride the coattails of Halloween - I don't care. Drugs, drink, dancing! (Yes, dancing!) Scarlett Johansson just called and said she's flying in to commemorate the occasion, which is so sweet of her because she probably has some other movie to film. And she gets a little jealous when I do body shots with strippers, which is soooo cute. The Access Hollywood people wanted to come in and tape a segment, but I told Billy Bush I wasn't interested unless he helped rake the leaves in my backyard. Hey, work before play, man.

Unfortunately, all this means I'll be too busy to pass out candy to the kids tonight. And that disappoints me because, as you know, I love the children. They're our future. (And they can be really good at raking leaves, if you get their little arms working at it.)

If I do happen to be home when you're trick-or-treating, however: Kids, no lights on means NO FUCKING CANDY, okay? Here's my blog entry - one of my first, y'all! - from last Halloween, when I actually tried to be friendly to the children. This is what happens when you try to be nice.

You have to wear a costume!

And courtesy of Mis Hooz, here's a Halloween story from Delaware that will warm your heart. Here's another tip for you kids tonight: If there's a body hanging from one of the houses you're trick-or-treating at, you might want to let your parents know. It looks real for a reason, kids.