Quick Tigers Talk with SNY.tv

I called in for a quickie chat with SNY.tv's "NY Baseball Today" this afternoon to preview the Tigers before this weekend's series with the Yankees.  Host Ted Berg and I discussed Detroit's starting rotation, especially the one guy baseball fans outside Detroit and Toledo probably don't know much about.



So who has the sexier phone voice, me or Talking Chop's Martin Gandy?

Thanks to Ted and Jeff Goldman for inviting me onto the broadcast.  It was fun to talk with them.

Coolest Trailer of the Summer?

I caught this trailer before The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 a couple of weeks ago, and I think it's the best one I've seen this year. It was certainly the biggest surprise. To me, nothing makes a better trailer than one that makes you think you're to going to see one movie, then flips you over by the end.



For the first few minutes I was thinking, "Why is a trailer for a documentary showing before a big summer action movie? Did I go into the wrong theater?"

But a new trailer for District 9 has come out since then, the movie is about a month away from and maybe you've seen more of the viral advertising than I have and weren't as surprised. I just enjoyed being genuinely fooled for a few minutes (and am always excited by potentially good sci-fi flicks).

(The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 was pretty good, by the way. Even if John Travolta can't help but overact whenever he plays the bad guy. The dialogue was especially good, which it had to be, since that's kind of the entire movie. But I want to watch the original, which is now available on Hulu.)

Barack Obama, Insect Assassin

For those who haven't seen this, do not interrupt Barack Obama when he's talking. The President of the United States will swat you into oblivion, m'er-f'er.



Coooollld blooooooded!

I highly doubt CNBC's John Harwood dared attempt any tough follow-up questions after that display. Notice him trying to compliment the President and get on his good side, lest he also find himself crushed with a smack of the hand.

Here's The Daily Show's take on it, in which Jon Stewart wonders if Obama has one of those "Terminator targeting systems" in his eyes.

Great Moments Are Born From Great Opportunity

I'm sure Mike Babcock's pre-game speech to his Detroit Red Wings before tonight's Game 7 with the Pittsburgh Penguins was pretty good. But I'm still hoping it went something like this:



GO WINGS! Keep the Cup in Detroit!

Got to Get This into My Life

I'm not a gamer (mostly for my own good), though I occasionally feel pangs of interest for playing Rock Band. The intro for The Beatles Rock Band doesn't necessarily make me want to run out to Best Buy and pick up the whole package. But damn, it looks really cool.



Is there any chance this could be made into a full DVD someday? (Or how about an IMAX film?) Just produce animated films for every song in the Beatles catalog. That wouldn't be too gargantuan a task, would it?

There Will Be Blog... Soon

Thanks to those who have been stopping by to check for fresh content. I'm sure you've become tired of looking at a picture of my father for the past couple of weeks, regardless of its significance to me.

Those who know me - especially fellow bloggers - know I despise "Sorry for the lack of posts recently; life has gotten in the way" lameness, so I'm not going to subject you to that. And that wouldn't be true, anyway. Life hasn't gotten in the way. (Although perhaps I've gotten in my own way.)

But I am trying to figure out what I want to do with this blog next. With today being June 1, I was hoping to have some answers with a fresh page on the calendar, but this is taking longer than I thought it might. I'll get it together, though, because I take this stuff seriously. I haven't even written about Star Trek, for Spock's sake, and I loved that movie.

So I appreciate your patience, and intend to have something worth your time and attention up soon. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this commercial as much as I do:



That little girl cracks me up!

Bring Back Morgan Freeman as Dracula!

I forget if it's my mother or Ms. Hooz (or someone else entirely), but someone didn't believe me when I said that Morgan Freeman used to be on The Electric Company. Thanks to YouTube, I can now support that assertion. (Oh, Wikipedia mentions it, too.)



This might actually be a better clip, but there's no bath. Or singing.

(via Cinematical)

When You Can't Figure Out What Mom's Talking About

I'm sure plenty of other people thought the same thing when they saw this on SNL last night, but this fits my mother so well. (And thus, it makes a perfect Mother's Day post.)



The only thing the Mom Translator is missing to make it perfect for Cecilia Casselberry would be a mental telepathy reader for those instances where Mom thinks I can figure out who she's talking about just by saying, "You know that woman... she's on the show you watched that one time... married to that actor."

(It's even worse when it comes to politicians: "He's either a Congressman or Senator... I think he's a Democrat, but he may be a Republican.")

Happy Mother's Day to you, Mom. I thank you for everything, and I love you.

'If You Build It, He Will Come'? Well...

With today being the 20th anniversary of the theatrical release of Field of Dreams, I thought this might be the time to confront one of my personal demons and make a confession "in print."

No, it's not that I didn't see the movie. Nothing like that. I've seen it several times. And if I'm flipping through channels and notice it's on, I'll watch. So I enjoy it, too. That's not what I'm confessing. The end made me cry like I was hormonal. "You wanna have a catch?" hit all those father-son issues - which I've always been a sucker for - right in the chest.

What I'm admitting today is this: I lived in Iowa for two years, and never once visited the actual "Field of Dreams."

I know, Shoeless Joe, I know. I can't explain it, either.

Iowa City is only a 90-minute drive from Dyersville, where the field is. (If my mother is reading this, it's actually a two-hour drive. Ahem.) And my two years at the University of Iowa included spending a summer there. Yes, I was taking classes the whole time (with a pretty heavy course load - really), but I couldn't have devoted a Friday or Saturday (or the random Tuesday) to making a trip?

However, I will point out that I did attend a lecture by the film's director, Phil Alden Robinson, when he visited campus, back in 2004 (probably to commemorate the movie's 15th anniversary). Does that take me off the hook at all? No, I know it's not enough.

Maybe the issue was that I would've visited Dyersville by myself, and thus wouldn't have been able to play catch with anyone. That may have led to some awkward situations.

"Excuse me, kid - can I borrow your dad for a bit? We'll be back in a half hour. Go play in the corn. I think I saw Lou Gehrig's ghost over there. Or maybe it's the dude who played Costner's dad, signing autographs. Oh, and I'm gonna need your mitt, too.

Okay, 'Dad,' I think we're about the same age, but let's have a catch."

If I had to name two things in this life that I truly love, baseball and movies would both be on the list. Yet I have to look at myself in the mirror each summer and try to deny the truth. When I watch Field of Dreams now, maybe those tears signify something else entirely.



"If you build it, he will come"? Apparently, the concept was lost on me.

Skeet Football, Starring Matthew Stafford

Just in case you missed it (as Late Night with Jimmy Fallon is on, well, late), the possible (likely) first overall pick in Saturday's NFL Draft appeared on Jimmy Fallon's show Thursday night. For all those Detroit Lions fans wondering what sort of player they might be getting as of approximately 4 p.m. EST on Saturday, Matthew Stafford is lethal at skeet shooting with footballs.



That could be our quarterback, Detroit. (Though I'm among those who hope the Lions draft an offensive tackle, even though they really, really need a stud quarterback.)

The Lions are formally announcing their new logo and uniforms today (which have been the worst-kept secret in Detroit sports over the past few weeks). But maybe they should put a plate on the front of the jersey instead. Stafford would hit Calvin Johnson between the numbers every time.

The Best Ad for Cotton Fabric Ever?

Here's more, if you're really interested.

(via /Film)

The Best Heist Movie Ever Made

I love heist movies. Something about the drama and suspense that comes with putting together the big plan, depending on events to move like clockwork, adapting when those events go out of sync (as they inevitably will), and covering for every contingency is utterly appealing in a story. Of course, it's even better if the prize is monumental, or the challenge insurmountable.

This is not one of those stories.



I haven't decided which fall I like best. I think it's the second one, because that looked like it really hurt. But the first one has some depth and complexity to it, when you factor in how his head hit the floor, bottles falling onto him, etc.

But no matter what happens to this guy, at least he doesn't have to admit he was arrested for "having relations with a car wash vacuum."

(via Aaron Gleeman.com)

Man vs. Burger... Lots of Burger

Have you heard about the Fifth Third Burger? A massive bomb (4,800 calories) of a burger that will be offered this season at West Michigan Whitecaps games? If not, here's the breakdown:

Start with an 8-inch sesame seed bun that requires 1 pound of dough and is made specially for the Whitecaps by Nantucket Baking Co. of Grand Rapids.

Spoon on nearly a cup of chili and place five one-third pound hamburger patties on top of that. (Get it, 5/3 pounds of beef for the Fifth Third Burger?)

Add five slices of American cheese and liberal doses of salsa, nacho cheese and Fritos. Top it off with lettuce, tomato and sour cream, and you have a burger that can be sliced with a pizza cutter and feed four people for $20. Jalapenos are optional.

If a single person can consume the entire 4-pound finished product in one sitting, the team plans to give him or her a special T-shirt.

(In writing about the Fifth Third Burger for Bless You Boys, I noticed that the particular ingredients have changed since the burger was first announced. The incarnation that's now being promoted actually seems less disgusting. Maybe someone stepped in and said, "Whoa! Do you want to kill somebody? Take the Spam off that thing!")

But now, we have actual video evidence of someone eating the thing. Well, at least he took a bite or two of the burger. (Maybe we'll have to wait for Adam Richman to truly take this monstrosity on for "Man vs. Food.") I figured at least one or two people tried it, for quality control purposes or whatever, but this man was told he's the very first.

Ladies and gentleman, CNBC's Darren Rovell.



If Rovell (who named this the Minor League Concession Item of the Year) was trying to impress Erin Burnett, I think he may have failed. Or maybe she digs that sort of thing. It was kind of hard to tell, though she didn't seem as revolted as one might expect. I'm also surprised Jim Cramer didn't try to tear into that thing himself. Maybe he did, after Rovell was done talking about it.

You can see more at Rovell's blog.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I might be ready to become a vegetarian. (Or watch Padma Lakshmi eat a big burger instead. Mmm... Padma.)

(via Big League Stew)

Shellhead vs. Little Dragon

Couldn't you use one minute (actually, more like 50 seconds) of awesome today? That is, if you haven't already seen this...



Not a surprise, really. If Bruce Lee could take down Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, what chance did Iron Man have? (Spoiler alert, if you didn't actually click on the video.)

If 10-year-old Ian had access to a video camera and super-cool action figures like Iron Man and Bruce Lee, he might have tried to do something like this. Of course, it wouldn't have been any good, and he would've run out of patience after the first 10 stop-action poses. But he might have tried.

And I just found out Bruce Lee's gravesite is in Seattle. That might have to be added to the itinerary when I visit in May. That is, if Mis Hooz will abide.

A Blanket and a Napkin - with Sleeves!

If only I could've gotten one of these before spending hours in front of the TV watching college basketball over the past few days.



(from Real Time with Bill Maher)

Michigan-Clemson in Two Minutes

This was probably the most fun I've had on a Thursday night in quite a while.


Watch CBS Videos Online

CBS is really doing a good job with its online component to the NCAA Tournament, by the way. At one point yesterday, I was watching my computer as much as the television.

I'm pretty sure I pulled something when Manny Harris got that three-point play with 37 seconds left to give Michigan a 61-57 lead. Getting too old to jump up so quickly from a prone position like that.

Next time, I'll make sure I stretch out first. I'm just happy I get to watch Michigan play again on Saturday.

Brian Fellow vs. The Parrot

With Tracy Morgan reprising his Brian Fellow character last weekend on Saturday Night Live, Hulu brilliantly (and thankfully) posted a past "Safari Planet" skit.



I'd say that was the best one Morgan ever did, but I don't remember all of them. However, I do remember this one because The Rock was in it (playing a guy named "Denny McLain" from the Detroit Zoo), and because Brian Fellow yells at a parrot. That's crazy!

How is Tracy Morgan Not on Animal Planet?

When I saw that Tracy Morgan was returning to Saturday Night Live to host, I had only one wish for the episode: A "Brian Fellow's Safari Planet" skit. Thank you, SNL.



Why I think this character is so funny, I don't know. When I've tried to explain Brian Fellow to someone who hasn't seen it, I get blank stares in return. But somehow, Tracy yelling "I'm Brian Fellows!" to the camera just hits that funny bone. That's crazy!

Even Lex Luthor Needs a Bailout

When the greatest criminal mind of our time (well, at least in 1978) can't even afford to bankroll another fiendish scheme to destroy Superman, you know our economy is really struggling.

"Lex Luthor Bailout" with Jon Hamm - watch more funny videos

Maybe you need one of those Congressional hearings, Lex.

And a nice bald wig on Jon Hamm there, eh?

Perhaps this was also a tip of the cap to those in the geeksosphere who think he'd make a fine Superman whenever another one of those movies gets made. (I think I'd count myself among that group, though he might be a big too old for the role now. Seems crazy to say when Hamm's career is just catching fire, though.)

(via Geek Tyrant)

The Most Famous Jay Buhner and Ken Phelps Have Ever Been

In a post I'm writing for tomorrow at Bless You Boys, I made a reference to Frank Costanza's infamous question to George Steinbrenner while the New York Yankees owner was presumably giving him bad news about his son. This is one of my favorite Seinfeld moments.

Just in case you were wondering why I'd post this video.



After seeing that, I sometimes used to fantasize about Tom Monaghan coming to my house and my father asking him how he could trade John Smoltz to the Braves for Doyle Alexander Of course, I also would be dead (or believed dead) in this scenario, so it didn't hold a lot of appeal to me.