Monday, May 02, 2005

Remember kids - always use protection

I know we've been heavy on sports the past couple of days here at Fried Rice Thoughts, and I can sense some of you looking at your nails and checking your watches. We'll get back to the pop culture potpourri that we're submerged in soon enough. But I have to follow up on one note from the weekend. As I mentioned in Friday night's slog of a blog (if you want to scroll down, it was the 8:55 pm entry), Tigers outfielder Craig Monroe was hit right in the package by a pitch from Chicago's Jose Contreras. Sam, over at Blue Cats & Red Sox, has posted visual evidence of the incident, courtesy of the Tigers' official website, for those of you who would like pictures in Zapruder film-like detail.

But a revelation in yesterday's Detroit News prevents me from leaving this behind and moving on. You see, Monroe wasn't wearing a cup. He wasn't wearing the piece of plastic protection that most athletes wear to prevent accidents such as these from leading to emasculation. The only thing between Monroe's crotch and a tightly wound ball of leather, cork, and thread flung toward him at approximately 80 mph (it was a curveball, not a fastball) was pants and probably an athletic supporter.

After reading this, I spent a couple of hours in the fetal position, waiting for my groin muscles to stop aching. Ye Gods. Craigger - I hope you've invested in a cup.