When doves fly

©2005 Bill Watterson/ Universal Press Syndicate

So I hear Michael Jackson was acquitted. All 10 charges of child molestation, out the window. I knew something was up when I was flipping channels yesterday while "Pardon the Interruption" was in commercial breaks and found cameras following a caravan of black SUVs down the highway.

Thanks, O.J. Isn't that when news stations and networks decided it was compelling to watch cars drive somewhere? What the hell were they expecting those SUVs to do, drive south to Mexico? Jackson was acquitted; he wasn't leaving the country. Was Jacko going to jump up on the roof of his car, grab his crotch, and start smashing windshields, like at the end of the "Black or White" video? (At 70 mph, that might've been impressive.) Or maybe he could've stopped at a soccer field and filled up the van with some kids. I don't know.

Here's another question: who the #$@% is the woman who was waiting in the crowd outside the courtroom with doves and let one fly each time an acquittal was announced? Doves? Are you #$@%ing serious? Prince, take it away.