Laptop go "BOOM!"

Well, we've been having problems with the AEH-5000 master computer here at Fried Rice Central. As a result, I wasn't able to follow up on or respond to The Lie of The Oriole: The Rafael Palmiero Story, which drove me crazy. (John bailed me out, however, by mentioning the major hole in Palmiero's story, called stanozolol, in Monday's comments. Thank you, sir.)

What happened to the Fried Rice master computer? Hey, I'm glad you asked because I've learned a lot about computers over the last few years and am always happy to share my knowledge with people. Here's a detailed synopsis: I pushed the "on" button and the power light came on, but the rest of the computer wouldn't. I then went through a complicated set of procedures to find a solution to the problem. I pushed every other button on the keyboard. Nothing. I tapped both the top, bottom, and sides of the computer. Zippo. I turned the computer "on," then off again. Nada. I stroked it gently and told it I loved it. Zilch. I even pounded my fists on the table and stomped up and down. Squadoosh.

So after carefully considering all of my options and trying to work through the situation reasonably and thoroughly, I finally crumbled and took my cherished laptop to a computer shop. I pointed at it, cried, and the computer dude said he'd make it all better. One day later, he called, said, "blah blah blah, error message, blabbity blabbity boo, event log, skip boppity doo, rebooted peripheral something, fa la la la la, la la la la," and said my beloved was all fixed and ready.

You know, absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder. I picked up the AEH-5000, we ate dinner at a nice restaurant with a harbor view, took a lovely walk along a river, went dancing, and then came home and told each other how much we missed each other. (I'd prefer to withhold the rest, because I'm a gentleman. Evidently, my time down south is having an effect on my manners.)

See you folks tomorrow. If this blog is a-rockin'...

(Pearls Before Swine © Stephen Pastis/ Dist. by UFS, Inc.)