Friday, January 26, 2007

A young man's head could explode

With one or two exceptions, I don't usually write about movie casting rumors. Can't let those geek feathers fly too often, you see.

But given the history of this blog, and the readers that continue to stop by day after day, thanks to previous posts on Jill Wagner, otherwise known as the oh-so-fetching star of those Ford Mercury commercials (or as she's known in my house, The Future Mrs. Casselberry), I felt I needed to address something I read a few days ago.

It seems that Ms. Wagner, who also recently starred in Spike TV's "Blade" series (and thus was largely the only reason I slogged through all 12 episodes of that now-cancelled show), just met with producers of the new Wonder Woman movie (which I tend to believe will never be made, but hey, Joss Whedon keeps working on it).

Do I even need to type anything more? Draw your own conclusions on how this might affect a young man such as myself. Worlds could collide in my brain, and I'm not sure I'd be able to handle it.

How do I put this delicately? As Wonder Woman, Lynda Carter tipped me off at a very early age that I was a healthy, heterosexual young boy who looked forward to becoming a man. And I don't think it had a whole lot to do with my love of comic books.

It sure as hell wasn't the TV show. I couldn't tell you about a single episode. All I remember is Diana Prince taking off her glasses, letting her hair out of that bun (hot!), and spinning until there was that flash! And then Young Ian (I thought typing "Little Ian" might cause some confusion) was happy.

To this day, a picture of Lynda Carter in that outfit will slap me in the face for attention. How there is not a framed print of such an image bolted to my wall is something I will surely contemplate this weekend. (However, I imagine the answer will become plainly obvious once I give the subject some thought.)

This reminds me of a couple I helped out once when I worked at a bookstore. The woman was wearing a t-shirt with just such a picture on it. And my mind went blank. I had to ask her to repeat her question, while sheepishly admitting to her boyfriend that I couldn't concentrate with that shirt in front of me. You know what? He understood completely. What a lucky, lucky man. I hope those two kids are still together.

Such formative memories are difficult to shake off. I'm reminded of them any time I see Lynda Carter, regardless of how old she gets. Hell, I almost rented The Dukes of Hazzard just because I heard she was in it! Think about that.

(A year or so ago, my buddies Mike and Chris were telling me about the movie, and the... talent Jessica Simpson displayed. But that meant nothing to me. How did Lynda Carter look? That's what I cared about. "Is she still getting it done?" was how I believe I phrased the question. Both Mike and Chris shook their heads and scoffed. "She's getting nothing done," they said. I don't believe them.)

Okay, that was a bit of a tangent. But a tangent with context. This is like the guy eating a jar of peanut butter bumping into the guy eating a chocolate bar. After both men get back up, dust themselves off, and yell at each other for getting peanut butter on the chocolate or vice versa, a realization is made. And a candy bar that changed the world is created. The Future Mrs. Casselberry playing Wonder Woman would be a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup that could bring much joy to Past, Present, and Future Ian.

Make this $#!+ happen, Joss Whedon.

But if you wanted to cast Robin from How I Met Your Mother, I could live with that, too. I'm not a picky guy.