Friday, February 24, 2006

Do I gots da "DTs"?

I've tried very hard to stay healthy this winter. If people insisted on coughing and sneezing without covering their mouths, I've moved far away or left the room entirely (not before I shot the obligatory dirty look, however). I've washed my hands frequently enough to require a regular lotioning. (Careful...) And I've ingested so much tea (especially green and ginger), orange juice, vitamin C, and zinc that going to the bathroom has become an assault on my olfactory senses.

But it's beginning to feel like I'm catching the cold I've worked so hard to avoid. My wastebasket is filled with wads of crumpled tissue paper. My ears and sinuses feel stuffed. I hope it's just some kind of hangover or malaise that can be cured with a brisk walk outdoors. But I'm a bit worried. So does anyone have a good cold remedy or preventative measure? The weirder, the better. ("Oh yeah, take ginger root, grind it up with mayonnaise, a fifth of whiskey, some lemon juice, and some Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk, and you'll feel great the next day.")

After this weekend, with the conclusion of Olympic figure skating and Dancing with the Stars, the two biggest threats to my Man Card status will have passed. So I think I'm ready for a return to manliness. I might go out and chop wood. Throw a ball of some sort. Watch an action movie. Eat a plate of Coney dogs. Or better yet, a steak. There might be some detoxification involved (maybe that's what I'm feeling), but I'll bite down and get through it. You know why? Because I am a man.

In the meantime, there was some Olympic live-blogging going on last night. One of our good friends gave away the results of the ladies' free skate beforehand. I hope it didn't ruin the event for anyone. But for me, it's okay. I think the Man Card committee employed him to test me. If I got too upset, that'd be a red flag. (Besides, my sister spoiled the results even further when she called after seeing them on the news. So I didn't even watch.) Or maybe he was just looking out for a buddy. That's cool. Either way, it worked out.

Enjoy the back cover of the oh-so-mean New York Daily News and some links:

▪▪ Pub of Knowledge live-blogged the Olympic figure skating program. Susannah's been all over this all week, so please check it out. Reading about it won't risk your Man Card.

▪▪ Not to be outdone with the live-blogging, House of 21 Thieves covered Aerial Skiing. Or whatever it's called. (How drunk would you have to be to try that? The skiing, I mean. Not the live-blogging.)