Today's Fortune Cookie Wisdom

"A financial investment will yield returns beyond your hopes."

What, is Jim Cramer doing fortune cookies now?

This is a good time to get into the stock market, they say.

What do you call those things firefighters use to catch jumpers? Trampolines? Life nets? Is there a publicly traded company that makes those things? With the way the economy is going, that could be a good investment. Hmm...