Why I hate taking my car in

Auto Mechanic: Sir, have you ever replaced the car's battery?

Me: No, I don't think so. Why?

AM: Well, we just ran a test on it. It's running at really low power.

Me: What?

AM: Yeah. I don't even know how you started it.

Me: Are you serious? It's been starting fine.

AM: Really? Well, you can look for yourself.

Me: Well, now that you mention it... I did have a little bit of trouble last week.

AM: We recommend replacing your battery, sir. You really should. It'll only take 15 minutes or so. We'll do it right here.

Me: How much will it be?

AM: $105

Me: Can you at least show me the test?

-- Howard Cooper Honda Service Center, State St.

Overheard by: Me, in my car.

Shortly thereafter, I stabbed myself in the eye and let my empty wallet drop to the ground. Numerous coffee shop punch cards scattered in the cold winter wind.

Dude, I just wanted an oil change.

(Image from "Pearls Before Swine" ©2005 Stephen Pastis/ Dist. by UFS, Inc.)