If you hear rockin', don't come a-knockin'

My Christmas gift from The Best Sister in the World arrived in the mail yesterday. And I can barely tear myself away from it. We've already spent a lot of time together. But that's no surprise. I've ogled it for months from afar, imagining how it would feel in my hand, between my fingers, in my pocket.

Yes, I am now - finally - a member of iPod Nation. More specifically, I belong to the Nano Club. Even better, Lil' Sis got me the black model. Mama Cass wasn't too happy about that first. She always had something different in mind for her children. But once I told her my Nano was assembled in China, she relaxed. I can bring it over for dinner any time I'd like.

Mom couldn't have kept us apart, anyway. The Nano is too sleek. Too sexy. So smooth. So thin. And soooo small. Seriously, a pack of Trident gum is bigger than this widdle thing. I'm worried I'll lose it.

As grateful as I am to have found love, however, I wonder if my sister realized she's contributing to my future hearing loss? In case you didn't hear (HA!), Pete Townshend is warning us - especially the children - that we're doomed to a life of deafness if we keep insisting on jamming those lil' buds in our ears and kickin' out the jams. (Here's more on that from the Village Voice's Riff Raff.)

Hello, everyone. Have you met my friend, Debbie Downer?

Well, I guess I have a head start on my 2006 Christmas list. First item? A hearing aid. What happens if you jam that earpiece in and crank up the volume, though?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be away for the rest of the day while I make love to my Nano. I'll be doing so, I might add, while listening to the theme from Superman: The Movie, which I downloaded onto it mere hours ago.

(Is that three Superman references in three days? What a nerd.)