Sunday, February 03, 2008

The Piffle Parade

One of my favorite Sunday morning amusements - besides sleeping or watching my DVR collections for the week - is reading Walter Scott's "Personality Parade" section of Parade magazine, which comes with many Sunday newspapers in this country. What makes it especially amusing is that the author's e-mail address isn't listed in the print edition, so to submit a question, readers (presumably) have to take the time to write out the query by hand or type it up.

So inspired by blogs like Deadspin and The Wayne Fontes Experience singling out questions from chats and message boards for everyone's amusement, I'd like to post a particularly baffling intriguing inquiry sent in by a reader.

Q Is it true that Carrie Underwood has never had a pedicure because she’s too ticklish? — J.B., Evansville, Ind.

A Once true. However, since winning American Idol in 2005 and becoming a superstar, the country cutie has learned to grin and bare it—her toes, that is.

Let's consider this again. Someone was consumed enough by his or her curiosity (or foot fetish) about Carrie Underwood's rumored ticklishness to send a question about it to Walter Scott. (And then Scott ran the question in his column, but delving into that probably requires a whole other blog post.) It also appears that this same reader may have realized how stupefying this query was, as he or she signed it with initials, rather than a full name or even just a first name. We do know, however, where this person lives, or claims to live.

Bravo, Personality Parade. Mama Cass and I will have something to discuss over Sunday dinner this evening. That is, if she (or I) gave a shit about Carrie Underwood, let alone her proclivity toward pedicures.

Okay, I have to go back to my Super Bowl pre-game coverage. What does Patriots linebacker Tedy Bruschi use to keep his thick, lustrous black hair so dark?