Thursday, August 17, 2006

It's "Hooz Day"! Are you celebrating?

[Editor's Note: Now posted on the correct day! I am such a mo-ron...]

Please join me in wishing Happy Birthday to my dearest amigo, also known as Fried Rice Thoughts' New York Bureau Chief (and now, a fellow blogger), Mis Hooz.

Congratulations on turning 29 (once again), my lovely and talented friend. I hope that the package full of goodies you received from me is only the beginning of the riches that pour into your apartment over the next couple of days.

And did I hear correctly that Samuel L. Jackson called with birthday wishes? No? He was just promoting Snakes on a Plane? Well, geez - that was a bit self-centered. I told him it was about your birthday. But you know how those celebrities are with promoting their stuff.

I also tried to get a shirtless photo of your fantasy boy toy Colin Farrell for you. I was pleasantly surprised when he agreed to come over, but he wasn't very cooperative. I'm not sure what exactly he said when I asked if he could take his shirt off, but I think I heard "fook" in there somewhere. He was a tad more cantankerous than I expected - even after I told him I loved Miami Vice. (More on that later this week.) It's possible that he saw me using the bootleg of Alexander you sent me as a coaster.

Man, I was really hoping to get some tips on how to rock a mullet and fu manchu mustache in the year 2006. Plus, all the beer in my fridge mysteriously disappeared. And how the hell did he find my whiskey stash?

You know what, you guys? I #@$%ing hated S.W.A.T! Okay? It sucked! What d'ya think of that?!

Oh well. It's the thought that counts, right Hooz?

Anyway, whether you realized it or not, people, you have reason to celebrate today. Take the day off. Go shopping. Treat yourself to a nice dinner. Go up and kiss someone on the street. While making my morning coffee run, I noticed lines already forming outside the bars here. So I can only assume all the New York watering holes are filling up. It's probably happening in your town, too.

Happy Birthday to you, Mis Hooz. And Happy Hooz Day to each and every one of you. (Even Samuel L. Jackson and Colin Farrell.)