Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Where was this at Christmas?

I found this via the Brian Michael Bendis message board at (Bendis is one of my favorite comic book writers, and his forum is a fun place to discuss all kinds of pop culture.) Here's the link to the article, but I think you have to register with the St. Paul Pioneer Press's website to read it, and I remember that being a pain in the ass, so I'll just try to include all I can here.

According to Richard Chin's story, a Hawaiian inventor and his Iowa business partner have created an underwear called "Flat-D, the flatulence deodorizer" that "[deodorizes] gassy discharges or groin and menstrual cycle odors." Put another way, these undies prevent your farts (and, well, other things, apparently) from stinking.

A man named Brian Conant
got the idea for Flat-D while performing chemical warfare training drills as a member of the Hawaii Army National Guard. During the drills, he wore a protective suit lined with charcoal fabric and whenever Conant would let one rip while in the suit, he noticed his natural gas didn't smell bad. (Maybe you want to hold those farts in during chemical warfare drills. Just a thought. You never know what can happen when certain gases mix.)

Inspired by his gassy wife who wished for an underwear that could hide the odors, Conant created the stink-preventing underwear and patented it. Eventually, the patent found its way to
Frank Morosky of Cedar Rapids, IA (land of corn and pork, mind you), who'd harbored similar hopes for fart-shielding charcoal underwear. It must've been like that moment in the old Reese's Peanut Butter Cups commercials where the guy with the chocolate bar collided with the dude eating out of a jar of peanut butter. Synergy!

So the next time you find yourself surrounded by gassy relatives (And of course, it's never you - it's that Uncle Ed who likes the bologna or your lactose intolerant Aunt Millie), hopefully you'll have prepared for the occasion and ordered something from (Seriously, check it out. And look at the earnest expression of the physician in the top left corner.)