Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Bad writing - oooooooh, soooo bad

Here's something else I can aspire to after graduation. Reading through Andrew Sullivan's blog, I tripped over this. Tom Wolfe won this year's Literary Review Bad Sex award.

Check out this beauty from Wolfe's latest opus, "I Am Charlotte Simmons":

"Hoyt began moving his lips as if he were trying to suck the ice cream off the top of a cone without using his teeth..."

"Slither slither slither slither went the tongue," is another titillating nugget. And I had the nerve to wonder why the hell Wolfe would write a nearly 700-page novel about "the college experience" (i.e, a girl losing her virginity in college).

But Bill O'Reilly still has Wolfe beat in his attempt at fiction, "Those Who Trespass":

"He gently teased her by licking the areas around her most sensitive erogenous zone. Then he slipped her panties down her legs and, within seconds, his tongue was inside her, moving rapidly."

Hoo boy, I'm typing this entry with one hand. (Should I have just told you that?)