Affleck's Best Performance Since He Was the Bomb in 'Phantoms,' Yo?

After John McCain's appearance on Saturday Night Live last night, I'm sure we'll be reading plenty of "If only this guy had run for president instead..." lamentations from pundits and reporters. And I'll agree with that. That's the guy many of us liked in the early part of this decade.

McCain might even have a better sense of humor than Barack Obama, or at least might not take himself so seriously. Unfortunately, he hasn't shown that until two days before the election. And we're far past the point of voting for a guy because he can poke fun at himself.

Speaking of someone who takes himself really seriously, Keith Olbermann got poked pretty hard by Ben Affleck.



Okay, it wasn't the best impersonation of him, but the skit certainly captured the bloviating indignance Olbermann has so often filled the TV screen with this election season. (I mean, I'm glad he's on "our" side, but still... what's going to happen to him if Obama wins?)

Of course, if you don't watch Countdown, you might not have found that funny at all.

How Long Has This Election Been Going On?

This SNL skit is from one year ago:



Geez, this campaign's been going on for too long.

Happy Halloween, everyone. Enjoy your weekend.

The Barack Obama Show

Just in case you missed it... or if you want to see it again, like I do, here's Barack Obama's 30-minute spot from last night.



On "Morning Joe" today, Mika Brzezinski called it "a visual scented candle," which is pretty funny. But at the risk of sounding sappy (and I'm obviously biased), isn't some optimism refreshing? Is it so wrong to feel inspired by a candidate?

At this point, if you're still saying you don't know what Obama stands for, you're just not paying attention. And maybe willfully so.

W: A Four-Sentence Movie Review

It's probably a bit too cute to wonder whether or not Oliver Stone has, well, lost his stones, but his last two films - World Trade Center and, now, W - haven't had much of what I like to call "whacked out Oliver Stone shit" in them, with no acid-tripped cuts or close-ups, long monologues, or seemingly warped, demented insights into his characters. But with these two most recent films, depicting events so fresh in our history and memory, perhaps there just isn't enough distance from them, leaving Stone without the time or inclination to create whatever theories or attacks might normally brew in his mind (though he was apparently leaning that way at one point), and I think that's reflected in the film's rather open ending.

Having said that, I still enjoyed this movie quite a bit, largely because of the acting (Josh Brolin is great as George W. Bush, portraying him as something of a buffoon, but also as someone who eventually believes he may have found a calling, even if it's taken him to a place where he's in way over his head; Richard Dreyfuss is sufficiently menacing and manipulative as Dick Cheney, especially when it comes to making the case for war; but I still haven't figured out if Thandie Newton's version of Condoleezza Rice, in which she almost comes off as a stroke victim and supreme ass-kisser, is brilliant caricature or a SNL-like parody that doesn't fit with the rest of the cast) but also because it gives political junkies a "greatest hits" re-telling of the last six to eight years, confirming much of the bellicosity, megalomania and arrogance that we've perceived from the Bush administration.

Stone attempts to be accurate in this film (something he presumes to care about, judging from these footnotes at the movie's official website) - and perhaps more fair than haters would've liked him to be, though plenty of cheap shots are taken - but his attempt at an overarching view of Bush, to figure out the man through the events and people that may have shaped him, also causes him to overlook two key events that will surely dictate this president's legacy - 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina - yet haven't been studied and investigated as thoroughly as the administration's march to war, which further cements the sentiment that a story that is still being told, whose ending has yet to be finalized, probably shouldn't have been told quite yet.

Regrets? I've Had a Few

For instance, I could come to regret not seeing John Hodgman read from his new book at Borders here in Ann Arbor last night.



For those who would like to say "I told you so," the line starts off to the right. Keep your reprimands brief; I'm a sensitive man.

I know, I know. Look, it was for my own good. I didn't have the strength to walk into Borders and not buy a copy of his book. I have too much to read already. Way too much. Went a little bit crazy with the purchases after baseball season ended.

The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread That You Could Eat With Sliced Bread!

Ah, now this is the clip from this weekend's SNL that I wanted to post here. Thanks, Hulu.

This week, SNL didn't stink after the opening sketch. And I think we have Mad Men's Jon Hamm to thank for that. This guy might have a future in comedy.



Man, it's a good thing I didn't have my credit card nearby when that sketch ran!

Now, if I could put a Jon Hamm's John Ham roll on one of those iPod toilet paper dispensers, I might not have a reason to leave the commode some nights. (Full disclosure: I would need to redesign my bathroom to have two walls around my toilet. Maybe I could just set the paper on the floor.)

Or maybe I could install a roller inside my refrigerator. But then I wouldn't have ham I can eat in the bathroom.

And Boar's Head really does make good deli meat. That would be good ham.

Here's a Political Ad I Wish Would Run in Michigan

Everyone's coming out to support Barack Obama.



Poor Dookie. I know the feeling.

Has it really been eight years since these ads were on TV? (And eight years since I annoyed my co-workers at Borders by often saying "Wassaaaaaaaaap?" when I picked up the phone? How did no one punch me in the face?)

By the way, this would be way better than the nasty anti-Obama PAC ads that are running in Michigan right now.

Help Me With the Ladies, Don Draper!

Apparently, the whole "Ian Casselberry" thing isn't working for me. According to Don Draper, anyway...



I'm going over Mr. Draper's checklist now. Dressing like a 20-year-old college kid probably doesn't help me much either. Maybe I could drink and smoke more... ?

SNL had a pretty good Mad Men parody, as well, if you missed it.

Today's Fortune Cookie Wisdom

"A financial investment will yield returns beyond your hopes."

What, is Jim Cramer doing fortune cookies now?

This is a good time to get into the stock market, they say.

What do you call those things firefighters use to catch jumpers? Trampolines? Life nets? Is there a publicly traded company that makes those things? With the way the economy is going, that could be a good investment. Hmm...

Why My Face is Frequently in My Palm

Earlier this week, I mentioned on both my Google Talk status message and Twitter feed that I was "working on a zen-like calm." Two friends have asked me what that was all about. While this video isn't directly the cause of it, the sentiment expressed by the woman from Virginia is at the root of my need to simma down now.



Here's the full clip from PBS' NOW, which provides a better context. The woman's husband is still trying to decide who he'll vote for.

This is almost a follow-up to my post about Bill Maher's Religulous. I understand the value religion can hold in people's lives. But when it's used to justify a horribly narrow and deliberately divisive worldview, and to mask ignorance and bigotry, I just can't abide by that. And it gives others people of faith a terrible name.

My father, a Lutheran, was a deeply religious man. Toward the end of his life, he was conflicted about his church's lack of inclusiveness in certain matters. He would be disgusted by this.

And during this 2008 presidential election, that kind of mentality has somehow become the view of the Republican party. At least for those still on board the sinking ship of the McCain campaign.

After November 4, I hope I don't have to hear much more of this thinly veiled prejudice. Or I hope I just won't pay attention and let it get to me.

(via Andrew Sullivan)

In Other News... They Were Still Making Zima?

Remember Zima? Maybe not, if you're under 30.

Otherwise, it's okay to admit you at least tried it that one time. The bottles looked kind of cool, after all. And it was kind of the ancestor of all the hard lemonade, "alcopop" drinks out there nowadays.

But when's the last time you saw it in the beer cooler of your favorite grocery store, let alone someone drinking it? Apparently, however, it was still available. That is, until two weeks ago.

MillerCoors LLC says goodbye to Zima.

The joint venture between SABMiller's U.S. unit and Molson Coors Brewing Co. told distributors in a letter Monday that production of the malt liquor beverage was discontinued as of Oct. 10.

Chief Marketing Officer Andy England says the decision was due to weakness in the "malternative" segment and declining consumer interest.

HA! "Malternative." Well, we still have wine coolers.

(via The Stew)

Religulous: A Four-Sentence Movie Review

My favorite types of people tend to be those who are intellectually curious, who realize that they might not know much about a particular subject and thus try to learn more about it (as Sarah Vowell said in a recent interview, "Why wouldn't you want to be as smart as you can?"), so I was pretty envious of Bill Maher getting himself a director and film crew and touring the world in an attempt to understand various religions and the people who put such credence in them.

As funny as this movie was when Maher either got an unexpectedly candid response from one of his interview subjects or brought light to some of the more, shall we say, extreme belief systems that have been created in the name of worship, it also seems disingenuous of him to say "I don't know" and use it as the fundamental premise of his opposition to what he sees as the blind allegiance of organized religion, but then acting like the smartest guy in the room when he's talking to someone about their faith.

Have you ever had an argument or discussion with someone whose views you knew just weren't going to change, who can barely even bother to acknowledge the other side, no matter what was said?

Ultimately, that's what prevented me from absolutely loving Religulous, despite my sharing many of Maher's views on the divisiveness that organized religion has caused in our culture and society at-large, a yearning to understand those differences, and an envy of those who can lean upon their faith to make some sense of the world they live in.

What's To Be 'Undecided' About?

I was just saying to someone the other day, "How can anyone be undecided at this point? The election is two weeks away!" Fortunately, David Sedaris put it much more eloquently (and humorously) in the New Yorker:

I don’t know that it was always this way, but, for as long as I can remember, just as we move into the final weeks of the Presidential campaign the focus shifts to the undecided voters. “Who are they?” the news anchors ask. “And how might they determine the outcome of this election?”

Then you’ll see this man or woman— someone, I always think, who looks very happy to be on TV. “Well, Charlie,” they say, “I’ve gone back and forth on the issues and whatnot, but I just can’t seem to make up my mind!” Some insist that there’s very little difference between candidate A and candidate B. Others claim that they’re with A on defense and health care but are leaning toward B when it comes to the economy.

[...]

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

Look, I can understand being conflicted (even if I think the choice is high-definition clear). I don't know who to root for in the World Series between the Phillies and Rays. So you have two more weeks to figure it out.

But do the undecideds just want attention, like "Joe the Plumber"? (Okay, that's probably a bad example.) Or does that "undecided" really mean something else when it comes to Barack Obama? (I hate being that cynical.)

A Four-Star Endorsement That Deserves a Salute

I've gotten much better over the past six months with articulating exactly why I support Barack Obama. (One of the first times I really explained my feelings on the subject was to my family in Malaysia.) I haven't truly put it into words here, and I plan on doing so at some point over the next two weeks.

But today, if I was struggling to detail exactly why I think Obama should be the next President of the United States, I might just play this clip from Colin Powell's appearance on Meet the Press. Gen. Powell voices Obama's appeal perfectly - even better than Andrew Sullivan did at the end of last year, which I wasn't sure was possible.

If you're still trying to decide who to vote for, please watch this. And if this is preaching to the choir, well... what's wrong with a little affirmation? (Especially when it was given on Sunday morning! Can I get an "Amen"?)



It's reassuring to hear a public figure - Democrat or Republican - acknowledge just how divisive the McCain campaign has been with its xenophobic rhetoric, trying to provoke fears of "the other," instead of keeping the discussion civil and issue-driven. (Here is the photo Gen. Powell was referring to, the one that invoked such strong feelings against the polarization that seems to be the current GOP platform.)

I'm also troubled by, not what Sen. McCain says, but what members of the party say. And it is permitted to be said, such things as, "Well, you that know Mr. Obama is a Muslim." Well, the correct answer is, he is not a Muslim, he's a Christian. He's always been a Christian.

But the really right answer is: What if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer's no, that's not America. Is there something wrong with some 7-year-old Muslim American kid believing that he or she could be president? Yet I have heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion, "He's a Muslim and he might be associated with terrorists." This is not the way we should be doing it in America.

I don't know about you, but I stood up in my living room this morning and clapped when I heard that. It shouldn't be like this in America. We can have disagreements, but there's still far too much fear and hatred in pockets throughout this country, much of it fueled (and provoked) by ignorance. We should be better than that. And we can be. But as Rage Against the Machine once put it (and man, does that name ring true these days), it has to start somewhere, it has to start sometime... what better time than now?

Believe it or not, Powell came out even stronger later on in the day, when he talked to reporters afterwards. He sounds like a man who wonders what the hell happened to his party. And maybe, just maybe, Powell is seeking a bit of redemption after being duped by the Bush administration into selling the Iraq war to the United Nations back in 2003.

Combine Powell's endorsement with news of the Obama campaign raising $150 million (!!) in September and drawing a crowd of 100,000 in St. Louis, and it just hasn't been a very good weekend for the McCain campaign. (Unless you think Gov. Mooseburger did well on SNL.)

Here's the full transcript of Powell's interview with Tom Brokaw.