Make your speeches on YOUR time, Mr. President!

Aren't President Bush's approval ratings already low enough? I'm not talking about his reported intention to station more National Guard troops along the U.S.-Mexico border when the Guard is already stretched as thin as tissue paper.

And I'm not talking about the immigration debate itself. I'm still wrestling with my opinions on whether or not immigration laws in this country should be overhauled. That's a post for some other time. (But if you do decide to grant citizenship to illegal immigrants, Mr. President, can you please take care of my mother - who's worked here legally for more than 25 years, yet has spent almost three years working through a tangle of bureaucratic red tape to get her citizenship - first?)

No, I'm talking about the President cutting into prime-time programming tonight - during sweeps - for a speech on the matter. Who decided that, Mr. Decider?

Fortunately, those who run the TV networks have only given President Bush enough time to say his piece, and then they're giving the people what they want, and getting the good stuff back on the air. C'mon, Prison Break's season finale is on tonight. And then there's 24! You're really going to push Jack Bauer back a half hour, Mr. President? Do you know how precious time is to him?

(By the way, did you know Jack Bauer can talk a homeless man into saying who he works for? I just had to sneak that in there.)

And did you see how bat$#!+ crazy Izzie went on last night's Grey's Anatomy? Will she still have a job at Seattle Grace at the end of tonight's season finale? Is Dr. Burke okay?! And most importantly, who will be boinking who?!?! Because someone's always poking someone on that show!

Worst of all, you pre-empted The Oprah, Mr. President. I don't even want to be in your shoes when you have to deal with that. Even the first lady's leaving you on your own for that one. You saw what The Oprah did to James Frey. Be afraid, sir. Be very afraid.

And save the speeches for after TV sweeps next time. Geez.