Monday, September 22, 2008

Let Obama Be Bartlet?

What would happen if Barack Obama had a sit-down with Aaron Sorkin's fictional president, Jed Bartlet? Thanks to Maureen Dowd's column in yesterday's NY Times (nothing like calling in a favor to a friend), we have something of an idea.

BARTLET You seem startled.

OBAMA I didn’t expect you to answer the door yourself.

BARTLET I didn’t expect you to be getting beat by John McCain and a LancĂ´me rep who thinks “The Flintstones” was based on a true story, so let’s call it even.

OBAMA Yes, sir.

BARTLET Come on in.

You think there's any chance the Obama campaign can hire Martin Sheen to read this exchange to the Senator each morning during breakfast?

OBAMA What would you do?

BARTLET GET ANGRIER! Call them liars, because that’s what they are. Sarah Palin didn’t say “thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere. She just said “Thanks.” You were raised by a single mother on food stamps — where does a guy with eight houses who was legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist? And by the way, if you do nothing else, take that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above average. I’d ask them what their problem is with excellence. While you’re at it, I want the word “patriot” back. McCain can say that the transcendent issue of our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can choose a running mate who doesn’t know the Bush doctrine from the Monroe Doctrine, but he can’t do both at the same time and call it patriotic. They have to lie — the truth isn’t their friend right now. Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; they’ve earned it.

It actually goes on for much longer. That's one of those soliloquies I'd have rewound over and over again, stretching 40-some minutes of television into a 90-minute viewing experience.

Man, I really miss The West Wing. But Obama could cure some of that yearning. Here's hoping.