Thursday, February 15, 2007

Keep it sweet with separate suites

I meant to post this yesterday (shoveling snow, doing taxes, and recording a podcast interview kept me away, not a broken, cynical heart), but I suppose the day after Valentine's Day will do. Actually, I've been sitting on this for a while, but eventually thought it would be funny to save for the "holiday." (Belated sweetheart candies to all of you, of course, my babies. Doesn't that go without saying?)

For the past few years, I've shared the following theory with a few close friends: More marriages would be successful if couples had separate bedrooms.

I usually follow that up with my contention that this is something I'd push for if I ever get married. As you might imagine, the theory is usually greeted with looks of scorn and disbelief. And no one has agreed with me on this (though I think I've gotten a second or two of contemplation from my married friends.)

And now, I have documented evidence that some people out there actually agree with me. This could be the new thing. I could've been a trend-setter, and I didn't even know it. (Of course, finding someone to marry me might have helped with that.)

Hear me out on this. I'm not saying husband and wife should always sleep in separate beds. I'm not advocating we live like TV couples from the 1950s. I mean, there has to be some fringe benefit to getting married (or being in a long-term relationship), right? Having your spouse right there beside you when you go to sleep would seem to be one of them.

But there have to be times when having your own sleeping space (being relegated to the couch doesn't count) is in everyone's best interest. Maybe one of you snores incredibly loudly. Maybe you're sick. Maybe one of you has to get up early for work and you'd prefer not to be woken. For that matter, what if you get home late? Maybe it's really hot and the last thing you want is someone draped all over you. Maybe you're preoccupied with something and find it difficult to sleep, so you're tossing and turning. Couldn't having that other bedroom help in such situations?

Consider the potential spice such an arrangement could add to a relationship, as well. After a night of passionate coupling (there's a sexy word for you), what is hotter than telling the other person that he or she needs to go so you can sleep? Or maybe skulking out of the room while pulling up your pants is what does it for you. This way, you could get all that - and still be married to that person.

What better way to begin a lifetime together than to have a home with adjoining bedrooms? Or if you don't have such an arrangement, what could be a better Valentine's Day gift. This would be soooo much better than candy or flowers. (You might still want to throw in dinner, though. It's just classy that way.)

Separate bedrooms, my babies. Think about it, and chime back in when you want to tell me how brilliant a visionary I am.