What is going on inside my head?

I'd like to thank everyone who chimed in on "To Beard or Not To Beard." If I ever want to grow hair on another part of my body, I'll remember to run it by you guys first. You're the best.

I also received some interesting comments last week when I asked you to consult upon a couple of my recent dreams. And I'd like some insight from you again, because my subconscious imagination is apparently still quite active. (Maybe it's the bedbugs biting.)

Before this past month, I was one of those people who hardly ever remembered his dreams. Yet these have been so vivid, I still remember them later in the day, long after I've woken up. So let's see what you think of these.

♦ In the first dream, whenever I held a conversation with someone, he or she kept pointing out that every time I said a word that ended in "s," like "guess," it would come out sounding like a "z." I didn't even notice myself doing it. Yet each person I talked to was getting extremely annoyed with this, so I tried to stop - even though I didn't think I was doing it.

But I couldn't stop, no matter how hard I tried. One of the conversations took place at a Starbucks, and the person I was with got so frustrated, she got up and left. Maybe it was that Starbuckzzz coffee.

♦ In the second, I ran into an old girlfriend while Christmas shopping. I haven't seen this person in over ten years. We were at a toy store; I was buying gifts for my cousin, she was vague about whom she was buying for. The conversation was really enjoyable, so we continued at a bar after we finished shopping.

I told her I was sorry for being insecure and immature while we dated. She said she often thought I was a sad person, and wondered if that's why I constantly made jokes. Then she asked about my father, knowing that we didn't get along so well back then. I told her he passed away. And then she began crying. Apparently, that was some sort of aphrodisiac because we got a hotel room after that and spent the night together.

The next morning, as I'm getting dressed, she tells me she has to go but really hopes we can start seeing each other again. And I can't believe what's happening. This affirms my belief in the natural balance of life; something bad is almost always followed by something good.

Later that night, I'm at another bar with a friend, and he sees my old girlfriend. She's scanning the crowd, looking for someone. Once she sees us, she comes over and sits down with us. After she catches up with my friend, she turns to me with a smile and I figure we're going to tell him about what happened the night before. She then tells me that she's married with two kids and is going back to Washington after Christmas.