Something in the Water (Does Not Compute)

After I wrote about my disappointment with Prince's halftime show at the Super Bowl, Rob commented that he was "waiting for him to slip and fall." Some people (not Susannah) had a problem with Prince's talent for shadow puppetry (which has me ready to tear my hair out in chunks and scream at our culture's sudden collective lack of humor [quickie rant]).

Me, I was worried that the dude was going to be electrocuted on stage.

Instead of covering "All Along the Watchtower," Prince probably should've included "Danger! High Voltage" in his medley. Of course, I really didn't want to see that (possible electrocution, I mean - not an Electric Six tribute), yet that fear was enough to keep my from changing the channel.

How did that not happen? Was the lunch lady bandana around Prince's head made of rubber? Slate's Torie Bosch doesn't confirm or dispute that theory, but provides a much more valid answer in the "Explainer" column: Prince went wireless.

Battery-powered wireless microphones, guitars, and other gear keep performers isolated from potentially dangerous electrical current. To get a shock, you have to become part of an electrical circuit between a high-voltage source —like a power line— and the ground (or a grounded object, like a ladder). Without coming into contact with both, you can't be electrocuted, which is why birds on power lines don't get fried. It's also one of the reasons why wireless equipment keeps performers safe in the rain—if you're not physically connected to the current, you can't get shocked.

Well, that certainly makes sense. But a rubber headband just sounds more sexy. And I think we all know which way Prince would lean on that one.

The football-free Super Bowl post-mortem

[If you want stuff about the game, Sweaty Men Endeavors is the place for you.]

I love Prince. If I was stuck on a desert island and Purple Rain was the only CD I could listen to, I think I could carve out a decent existence for myself. "Let's Go Crazy" is one of my all-time favorite songs. And I don't think he's ever received enough credit for his blistering guitar shredding on that tune, as well as "When Doves Cry."

But that half-time show was a serious disappointment. And not just because Prince rushed through the thing like an orchestra was about to play him off the stage. There just wasn't enough of his music. "Proud Mary"? "All Along the Watchtower"? "Best of You"? I like the Foo Fighters, but should Prince be singing one of their songs? Shouldn't it be the other way around? And what was that "We Will Rock You" intro?

How about some more Prince? I wasn't expecting "Little Red Corvette" or "Controversy" from a man who's found religion in recent years. But was "1999" or "Kiss" too much to ask for?

And when the hell was it decided that unleashing a group of hundreds onto the field to surround the stage was a key component of Super Bowl half-time performances? What exactly does that add to the show? On TV, you (usually) want to see the performer. And in person, it's just one amorphous mass of people. Never mind that it was dark, and no one could see them, anyway.

But the marching band was a nice touch.

▪▪ It wasn't even close, right? The Snickers ad with the two guys "accidentally" kissing was the best, most "laugh out loud" Super Bowl commercial.

I also liked the Sprint "connectile dysfunction" and Coke "What else haven't I done?" ads. But maybe those both spoke to personal issues I'm currently dealing with.