The Irrational Pastime?

It's possible that I'm taking this baseball thing a bit too seriously. Last night, we had our fantasy baseball draft (for a league which includes such blogging peers and luminaries as Wabi-Sabi and Donutbuzz), and it was fun - as it's been every year I've played with those guys. (Hoyt, thanks for inviting me into your league and letting me tap into an addiction I didn't even know I had.) And this year, I had the #1 overall pick, which is a luxury I've never enjoyed in my three-plus years of playing.

Anyway, there was a moment during the draft which struck me as funny, but also let me know that my ego is probably a shade out of control. At one point, someone drafted the Detroit Tigers' Dontrelle Willis - a pitcher who is utterly likable and infectiously enthusiastic, but didn't perform very well last season, and could have a tough time transitioning from the National League to the far more imposing American League. So a few of us in the chat room remarked that we hoped Willis had a good season, and I mentioned that Tigers fans were a little nervous about him, but as the fourth or fifth man in their starting pitching rotation. (Not like I know anything more than anyone else about the Tigers, but I kind of write about them every day.)

Then one of the other managers in the chat room said something like, "He's a third starter." And that's when I knew I took this stuff too seriously. Maybe he was saying that Willis is good enough to be the third starter on the Tigers. Or maybe he was just talking. But since I follow the team so closely, I felt kind of like Jimmy Fallon's portrayal of a hyper-tense, over-serious Barry Gibb on Saturday Night Live.

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN! I'M BARRY GIBB!!

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?! I'LL PUT YOU IN THE GROUND! I'M BARRY EFFING GIBB!!

Here's what I'm talking about:

From Crackle: The Barry Gibb Talk

Thankfully, I didn't behave so childishly. It's just fantasy baseball (or baseball, as it were). And it's just blogging. I don't take myself that seriously. And if Hoyt or Jim are reading this, I'm just kidding. I just thought the whole exchange was kind of funny. And it reminded me that sometimes my ego is a little more inflated than it should be.

Of course, if I win that fantasy baseball league, then that ego will swell proudly.

Who wants a piece of my Movie Mogul Mojo?

Last week, Dave almost bragged about his quick rise to first place in our fantasy movie league, but he managed to keep things pretty humble. I think it's because he knew what was coming. I was about to bring the smackdown.

If you keep tabs on such things, you might have noticed that the #1 and #2 films at the box office last weekend were Wild Hogs and Zodiac. And it just so happens that my studio, Projection Booth Pervs, selected both of those flicks in our league's draft. That's $53 million worth of box office, baby, and it skyrocketed the Pervs into first place.

Oh, the abysmal taste of the general movie-going public has never provided sweeter nectar for me. Instead of sneering at those who chose John Travolta and Tim Allen over Robert Downey, Jr. and Jake Gyllenhaal (along with FRT's professed mancrush, Mark Ruffalo) while waiting in line at the theater this weekend, I silently applauded their poor entertainment choices. And judging from the number of seats filled at my screening of Zodiac, I knew I'd be okay. (Four-sentence movie review on the way.)

If I could've lit a victory cigar with the flap from a box of Milk Duds right there in the theater, I most certainly would have. But a message before the show told me I can't smoke in there. I would've called up my friends to ask them if they heard of such a thing, but I was also told no cell phones.

Warning to Dave and the rest of Follywood: Grindhouse hasn't even opened yet. Bring the pain, bring the noise.

Can I live this fantasy life?

No, I didn't decide to give up blogging for Lent. But thanks for asking. I am still looking for something to give up, however. Not due to any religious beliefs, but more out of a sense of tribute to my father. And I like the idea of depriving myself of something for 40 days to test my feeble mental will. You know, kind of like Josh Hartnett in that one movie.

I'm beginning to think, however, that I should give up something before I've even had a chance to start. I can already see that fantasy sports could potentially lead to my downfall this spring and summer. Yesterday, I received an invite from Hoyt to join his fantasy baseball league for the second year in a row, and I had so much fun with it last year that I signed up almost immediately. (The only thing keeping me from forming a team even faster was trying to think up a good name. Would "Chris Hansen's Predators" be kind of tasteless?)

I'm not sure I can restrict myself to just one league, however. For one thing, I need a team to practice with before I take on Hoyt and the rest of The Justice League. (Great name, eh? Nice work, Hoyt.) Plus, ESPN and CBS Sportsline have free fantasy baseball this season, and I'm so very curious as to how playing in those leagues might differ from Yahoo! And while hanging out with Brian on Monday night, he told me that "you haven't played fantasy baseball until you participate in a live auction draft." I don't know if I'll be able to accept such a challenge - especially when these online drafts make things so easy - but my ego was certainly intrigued. (Oh, and I should play in a keeper league at some point, too. That is, if I want to be a man.)

But fantasy leagues aren't just about sports, either. Last week, Dave posted something about a fantasy movie league, and after reading it, I knew I wanted to get into it. Thankfully, Dave showed some initiative and put together a small league ("Follywood"), so now I can see if this could possibly be as fun as football and baseball. Even better, the "season" only lasts until the end of April, so if we all really like this, we can take on the summer movie season next.

So yesterday, Follywood had its draft. Just as "teams" try to select the players who can get the most touchdowns or home runs, "studios" pick a roster of movies that will accumulate the biggest box office take. Luck of the draw determines who gets first crack at the top prospects. And with the fourth selection (out of six) in the draft order, here are the films that my studio - Projection Booth Pervs - is looking to for big (pretend) money and glory:

• Grindhouse
• The Hills Have Eyes 2
• Zodiac
• Hot Fuzz
• Wild Hogs
• The Last Mimzy

I know what you're thinking. Wild Hogs? John Travolta? Martin Lawrence? Why would you pick a piece of $#!+ like that? Remember, these aren't necessarily films that I want to see; they're the ones that I think will pull in the most cash at the box office. Besides, that was my second-to-last selection. The pickings weren't great at that point. And c'mon - didn't I earn some street cred by nabbing Grindhouse and Zodiac? (I have an angry e-mail from Dave that says I did.)

Generally, I like my roster. We've got horror, we've got comedy, and some family fare, as well. My one mistake - choosing what I want to see instead of what might make more money - may have been Hot Fuzz. Just because all my friends saw (and liked) Shaun of the Dead doesn't mean it pulled in big box office. (It didn't.)

So what do you think? Will the Projection Booth Pervs be the last fantasy studio standing?