The Beard is Gone

With the end of "Manuary" (as Big League Stew's Kevin Kaduk coined it), it was only a matter of time before the facial hair I had accumulated (along with the untamed mane of hair that had grown) needed to be shorn away. The protective hirsute armor I had built to protect myself from the elements had outlived its usefulness and appeal.

Yesterday, I took clippers to face and left my beard in the sink. After that, it was off to New Age Salon, where a Taiwanese lady can cut my Asian-esque hair in a way that doesn't look awful when it grows out again in a couple of weeks. I have once again rejoined civilization, cleaned up enough to be recognized by the Twitterati.

So what did the whole thing look like? Well, it may or may not have resembled this:


My glasses are less clunky. That's all I have to add.

There Will Be Beard

Following careful deliberation and introspection, it has been decided: After a one-year hiatus, there will be beard in 2009.

Inspired by others who have opted to do what men sometimes need to do - to cover their faces with hair, whether it's an effort to shield ourselves from the harsh elements, or signify a transition - I have begun the process. A beard was not grown last year, largely out of consideration to my sister, who feared I would not be able to shed that caveman exterior and be suitably dapper for her wedding. There will be no such concession this winter season.

(Save your derisive jokes and interpretations, implying that this beard is a female companion meant to divert suspicion toward my virility and sexuality. Spinster Girl made such a joke at my expense on Facebook, for which I hope she receives a paper cut. Women only wish they could craft such a daring exterior, one that scoffs at conformity and convention, while also conveying warmth and a connection with nature.)

Much as a caterpillar weaves a cocoon around itself, to eventually escape from its trappings and emerge as a different, beautiful creature, so do men create a facial exterior of hirsute chin armor. When the weather changes, once the temperature rises, razor is taken to face, and a new man is found underneath.

As my buddy Kevin Kaduk (author of the outstanding baseball blog, Big League Stew) said to me on Facebook, "Welcome to Manuary." Indeed, sir. Indeed.