Tuesday's thoughts

♦ Something I learned over the weekend (besides how to handle myself politely with a woman's face in my crotch): It is impossible for a man - especially a dashing, virile figure such as myself - to look manly while helping to shop for yarn. You can't do it. It doesn't matter how hard you try. You're holding two rolls of, in this case, pink-ish material that will be used to knit a blanket or sweater. You can feebly try to maintain some scrap of manliness by saying, "It's for my mother," but ultimately, you're holding the yarn. And it's pink. Pink-ish.

♦ Going a bit local here: Could Detroit actually re-elect Kwame Kilpatrick as Mayor? Really? I'm not a Detroit resident, but I don't see how this guy can come back. Detroit's on the verge of going broke. One of his solutions for revenue? Tax fast food. He's used city funds to bankroll expensive meals, hotel rooms, limousines, and airline tickets. He takes credit for bringing events like the Super Bowl and baseball's All-Star Game to Detroit, when it was his predecessor who did the work. His challenger, Freman Hendrix, led in the polls going into today's election, but Kilpatrick was closing the gap due to support from young voters. But will those people show up to vote? If not, dead voters might be able to help.

♦ Staying local: If you're in metro Detroit, do you hate the commercials for Detroit's "new" 93.1 "Doug" FM as much as I do? For those of you fortunate enough not to be subjected to them, these ads show a big, ugly dude stick his index finger in the air, after which a song plays. But a different song plays each time his finger goes up. U2! The Beatles! Sheryl Crow! Bob Marley! Eric Clapton! Run DMC!

Every time he sticks up his finger, it's different! Because you never know what "Doug" FM's going to play! But I have no idea what the finger is supposed to represent. He can't be switching to the next song with that finger because he's supposed to be staying on the same station. Maybe he has some special "Doug" antenna in his finger. Guess where I'd like to see him stick that finger next?

(Image from "Get Fuzzy" ©2005 Darby Conley/ Dist. by UFS, Inc.)